Looking Back
by alynwa
Summary: Alan and Denny on New Year's Eve.  I don't own anyone.  I wish I did.


Looking Back

The two men sat in their twin recliners in the living room of their suburban home swirling snifters of brandy, smoking Cubans and appreciating the warmth of the orange blaze burning in the garland festooned fireplace. The windows on either side of the mantle allowed them to look outside at the cloudless, below freezing, moonlit night. It was a doubly special night; Full Moon and New Year's Eve. Denny Crane and his best friend and husband of thirteen months, Alan Shore Crane, were dressed in their finest silk pajamas; Denny in cornflower blue and yellow striped pants and shirt and Alan in a red nightshirt and matching nightcap. It was 11:30 and they had been out with Carl Sack and Shirley Schmidt for a lobster, steak and champagne dinner earlier that evening and had opted to return home to ring in the New Year together rather than with their wedding partners. The limo had dropped them off at 9:30 and, after changing, they had originally moved to the couch to admire the live, 20 foot tall Blue Spruce Christmas tree that dominated one side of the living room. The white lights blinked in ever-changing patterns; first, going from dim to bright then, rapidly going on and off, and then cascading through various sections of the tree. They illuminated the large ornamental gold, red and green balls, silver bells and nutcracker soldiers with large teeth decked out in gaily painted uniforms. It was so beautiful to look at, they decided to leave the television turned off and the lamps unlit. After all, tomorrow was January 1st and the tree would be stripped naked and taken down by the servants on Saturday. Denny was of the opinion that a tree left standing too long after the start of the New Year was just plain tacky. Therefore, gifts had to be removed and the tree dismantled no later than the second Sunday of the year. They had moved to their chairs to be nearer the fire and to look outside.

"Can you believe it, Alan? Another year is coming to a close in less than a half hour."

"And what a year it's been, Denny. We've been married for an entire calendar year and you've been taking the new drug for our entire married life. You're retired and I'm on sabbatical. I've been loving our travels and adventures. I'm just feeling so…" Alan shook his head and sipped his drink. He was never at a loss for words in a courtroom but, he often found himself stumped for vocabulary when speaking to Denny. He had realized sometime ago that his loss for words was a direct result of his trying to articulate emotions he usually kept hidden deep within his soul. It was like his brain had no frame of reference to express what his psyche was feeling.

Denny lit the tea light candle in his custom made brandy warmer and placed his glass on the stand. He looked at Alan and raised an eyebrow. "You're just feeling so…what?" Alan kept swirling his brandy (he was of a mind that brandy is only properly warmed by hand). When he didn't answer right away, Denny opined, "Well, _I'm _just so pleased that you took my last name." Alan smiled at that and remarked, "I'm just glad you have a last name I _could _take. I hadn't thought of it until Shirley mentioned tonight why she hadn't even taken Carl's name socially. Shirley Schmidt Sack? She's right, that's _hilarious_!" They both laughed out loud remembering Shirley's look of distaste and Carl's slightly offended countenance when Alan brought the subject up for discussion despite Denny's kicking him under the table.

"Leave it to you to bring a controversial subject to the dinner table," Denny declared, "That could have gone very badly."

"Denny, I maintain that a holiday dinner isn't complete until _someone_ disagrees with someone. Besides, it wasn't like they had never discussed it. I just wanted to…"

"You just wanted to start something. Fortunately for all of us, even Carl realizes his wife would be a laughingstock if she took his name for any reason. Have I ever told you that you are a brat, Alan Crane?"

Alan laughed even harder at that. "Maybe I am but, I'm _your_ brat and you love me! That makes me happy. This entire _year_ has made me happier than I ever thought possible. You know I had my doubts about getting married again but, I am _so _glad you talked me into it. Denny, I'm going to tell you something I rarely share: I believe in God even though I'm not always sure God believes in me. When my wife died, I _knew_ He was punishing me for being an insufferable ass. When you showed up in my life, I came to learn and believe that He had forgiven me. To finish what I started to say earlier: I am just so blessed, Denny, I'm blessed. I have you, a beautiful home, well, _homes_ actually and a limo and a Gulfstream to get me to them!"

Denny stood up and moved to the window; a light wind was blowing the snow around the yard. He watched the snow drifting and settling on the lawn and sighed. He pulled on his cigar, blew the smoke against the glass and smiled. "I never thought of myself as a blessing before, thank you for telling me that. But, I have to ask you something even though you just told me you're happy. Don't you miss…women? I mean, you know…"

"Sex?" Alan added helpfully.

Denny nodded and replied, "Yes, sex. I'm 77 years old. As much as I love the company of a woman, all that wining and dining hardly seems worth the effort anymore for the minute of sex I'd get out of it. You, on the other hand, are a healthy, vibrant, 48 year old man perfectly capable of fully enjoying a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. Yet, looking back on this past year, I don't remember you spending anytime with women socially unless I was there, too."

Alan shrugged his shoulders, finished his brandy and stretched his legs and arms like a cat. He looked at the mantle clock and noted there were only fifteen minutes left to the year. He shook his head and wondered where the time had gone. He looked up and saw Denny watching him closely. "What?" he asked, "I thought you were stating facts. You want me to answer you?"

Denny crossed his arms. "No, you didn't! And, yes I do, if you don't mind."

Chuckling softly, Alan handed Denny his brandy glass and then refilled his own. He stepped over to join Denny at the window. He stated, "No, Denny, I don't mind answering you at all. I can hardly believe it myself but, healthy or not, I am of an age now that companionship, not sex, is extremely important to me. It means more to me that I have someone I can talk to who listens to me and understands me. And, I have to admit, the fact that we share a bed provides me a great deal of comfort because I really don't like sleeping alone. If we didn't, I probably _would_ have actively sought out female communion during this past year but, we do. When that particular itch needs to be scratched, I just take matters into my own hand, so to speak. It's no big deal, Denny. I told you a long time ago that we really are the best couple I know. I meant it then. I mean it, now." He glanced over at the clock again. "It's midnight, Denny," he announced as he raised his glass, "Happy New Year."

Denny smiled and clinked his glass against Alan's. "Happy New Year, Alan! May this year be as wonderful and fun as the last one."

They drank to the toast and then Alan added, "As long as we're still together, how could it be otherwise?" He put his glass on the windowsill and took Denny's glass and placed it alongside his. He held his arms wide and said joyously, "Give me a hug for luck, Denny! And, if the fates be kind, we'll be standing here a year from now looking back on all the fun we've had."

Denny stepped into Alan's embrace and wrapped his arms around him tightly. "Hell," Denny said, "I'll even give you a kiss!" He kissed Alan lightly on the cheek, then grabbed the glasses and started walking toward the stairs. "Come on, husband! Let's go to bed. Bring the bottle with you."


End file.
